All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
