it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just google imaged poop.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
