I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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