Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
