Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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