we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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