I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
not ubering you a puppy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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