Screwed.edu
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
