I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Randomize
