no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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