Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
