your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
