does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
