his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
