Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
its liver damage thursday
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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