you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
