We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
