Umm I'm too high to move.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
