My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize