I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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