WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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