i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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