Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
