there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
