i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
