I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
