Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
