break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Randomize
