i wish my penis had a tongue
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
