My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
