I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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