you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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