Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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