I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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