It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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