Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
