can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize