It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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