Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
