I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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