I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize