we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
MIDGETS
????
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
