Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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