Barsexuality is the new black.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize