My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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