Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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