Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
