quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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