you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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