Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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