apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
