Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
