I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
