Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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