Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
