Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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