you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
