HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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