ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
