Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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