I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
