You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There r osticjed everywhere
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
