physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
