He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
