I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
