Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
