of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
